Title: Sexual Fantasies.
Author: fazy
Email: chopstickssg@yahoo.com
Pairing: Haldir/ Elrond, reference to previous Elrond/ Glorfindel.
Rating: R
Archive: Melethryn
Summary: Haldir subscribes to the melethryn.net mailing list and looks forward to each new update of Possessions (http://melethryn.net/O/posessions1.txt), a BDSM fic by Orchyd Constyne & Anestel. Elrond is unimpressed with his lover's choice of reading material.
Genre: humour, hardcore romance.
Warnings: Mention of BDSM.

A/N: Characters based on the Bagenders (www.bagenders.stormpages.com) idea that Elrond in the 21st century is a filthy rich guy who owns half of Scotland, and that Haldir is currently staying with him. Soulshadow Diamond and I have taken it upon ourselves to assume that they have some sort of relationship going. In our version of the story, Haldir was initially sent by BADGER to infiltrate Elrond's mansion and send quarterly reports back to headquarters.

Haldir, as everyone knows, is the slut-of-Lorien-turned-social-escort. (read: professional high-charging gigolo).

'Sexual Fantasies' is part of a series of vignettes that Soulshadow and I are in the midst of compiling. A complete version of the series should (might?) be up in late July. In the meantime, snippets are available at http://msnmadness.blogspot.com/


Disclaimer: Erm... do we even NEED disclaimers? Isn't it a given that fan fiction is written by poor college/ high school students who don't own a damn thing and don't make any money out of their writing? Isn't that what fan fiction is all *about*?!?

c",)


*****


Haldir was excited. He had checked his email that morning and found chapter six of 'Possessions' sitting there, patiently waiting for him in his inbox, so you can just imagine his frustration at not having the leisure to read his current favourite fic right then and there. No, Elrond just *had* to have walked in on him and drag him off for breakfast.

Well, not *drag*. Not literally. Elrond was always so nice to him, and Haldir had spent a delightful morning in the company of his lover. Still, by noon he was bursting to get back to the computer.

"By the Valar!" Haldir breathed as he did a quick reread of chapter three. After all, it would not do to just jump in and devour the newest update, did it? No, Haldir wanted to savour that treat, and what better way than to begin rereading right from the very start. "Poor Lothvaen", he thought as a picture acted itself out in his head, a vivid image of Oropher violently abusing his Noldor slave. "Oh, Lothvaen...Oropher, no..."

"Oropher, no?"

Haldir jumped.

"Ai, melethron-nin, I did not notice you come in!" he stammered, blushing slightly.

Elrond frowned. "Haldir, are you alright? Is Oropher bothering you? What did he do? Did he send you an email? Is he threatening you? What does he want? How did he know your address anyway? Didn't he sail off to the undying lands? Does that mean they have net access in the undying lands? Oh, wait, wasn't he killed? Dear Gods, you mean they have internet access *there* as well?!?"

The elder elf looked so worried and concerned that Haldir couldn't help but laugh. "No silly," he chuckled. "It's just some fanfiction someone wrote about him. Remember fanfiction? We've been through this before, haven't we?"

"Hm, yes," Elrond sighed dramatically before leaning in to kiss Haldir lingeringly on the mouth. "Teenage girls high on hormones with too much bloody time on their hands." He folded his arms disapprovingly. "Honestly, I have no idea what you see in those things."

Haldir shrugged and grinned, and Elrond shook his head in defeat. "Oh alright, read what you please. Here, shift off a bit," he said giving Haldir a gentle tap at the hips. Obediently Haldir rose to let the peredhil sit on the computer chair, and waited till he was comfortably settled before draping himself across Elrond's lap, habit and familiarity ensuring a smooth transition from one position to another.

"Cushy today, aren't we?" Elrond teased as Haldir snuggled cat-like against him. "Cushy and flushed."

"Aw, shut up," he grinned lazily. When he looked up to be kissed, the other gladly obliged.

"Looks like I've got to thank whoever wrote this fic," Elrond said, amused as he smiled indulgently at the figure curled up in his arms. "Come, let me see this thing that's gotten you all pink around the ears," he chuckled.

As he read through the chapter however, Haldir could see the mirth drain from his lover's face. The frown that never quite left Elrond's face even when he laughed deepened, his lips pursed tight, and Haldir could have sworn he felt Elrond wince about three times before the Imladris elf finally tore his eyes away from the screen.

"You read... *that*?" he choked, half-horrified, half-incredulous. "You *read* that?" He barked out a short, stunned laugh, then kissed the blonde and laid a hand gently on his lover's crotch, feeling Haldir's partial erection.


"Yes," the Guardian replied quietly.

"I didn't know. I had no idea." Elrond blinked, the new discovery of Haldir's secret tastes just starting to sink in. "You... like it?" he asked uncertainly.

Haldir nodded, ashamed.

"You wish..." Elrond trailed off, unsure of exactly what it was that Haldir desired. Did he dream of wielding the power, of brandishing the flogger while his partner cowered before him? Or did he crave... to be... To be what?

"You wish...?" Elrond said again, this time in enquiry.

"I... wish..." Haldir swallowed hard. Now that it came to this the words seemed to stick in his throat. "I wish..." he tried again, but it was so difficult. He just couldn't say it. The questions distressed him. Drawing in a deep, shuddering breath, he threw his arms around Elrond's neck and buried his face in his lover's shoulder.

Elrond held him tight. "Hush, hush," he whispered consolingly as he stroked the blonde's long hair reassuringly. "Hush, lirimaer. It's okay... hush now, Haldir. Hush."

At length, Haldir drew back and gave a bitter laugh, scornful of his earlier display of weakness, then sighed and kissed his lover. "I'm sorry," he intoned.

"No, don't be. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked."

"You were curious," he said shrugging. "Why?"

Elrond thought about it for awhile. "I don't know. I suppose... I would like to know... what pleases you. I would like to know what it is you wish."

Haldir nodded and chewed on his lower lip. "I guess," he said, taking both Elrond's hands in his. "I just..." he said and shook his head."I can't believe we're having this conversation!" he laughed.

"Neither can I!" Elrond shook his head in reply. He brought Haldir's hands to his lips and kissed each one of the marchwarden's fingertips before meeting Haldir's mouth in eager liplock. "Ai, Haldir-nin... I love you."

And Haldir melted into his arms. "I love you too," he replied, though he seemed rather distracted. "Elrond," he said quietly. "I wish to be broken."

Haldir felt rather than saw the other flinch. "I'm sorry," he whispered again. "But you said you wanted to know."

Elrond nodded slowly. "Yes..." he breathed uncertainly. When he next spoke, his voice was quiet and strained. "But I can not give you that, melethnin. I just... can't."

Seeing the strain so obviously manifested on his lover's face, understanding slowly dawned, and he looked up in shock at the former lord of Imladris. "You've been there before," he breathed. "Somebody hurt you!"

Elrond shook his head and pressed a finger to Haldir's lips. "Hush, enough. Nothing of the sort happened," he said, cutting off Haldir's protests, but the Guardian was not one to be easily distracted.

"Somebody hurt you," he stressed, taking both Elrond's hands strongly in his right hand and laying his left on Elrond's heart. "Somebody hurt you," he whispered. Elrond nodded, and Haldir could see the unshed tears in his eyes.

"Somebody hurt you bad."

Again Elrond nodded quietly, this time squeezing his eyes closed to shut out the memory. He took a deep breath and gripped Haldir's hands with such force that he thought his fingers would snap. The blonde elf swallowed hard. There was only one person in the world whom he knew could hurt Elrond that way.

"Glorfindel."

At the mention of the name, Elrond stilled.

"Glorfindel," Haldir said again, his anger rising. Elrond nodded, and this time Haldir could feel the beast in him slowly uncoiling. He had kept the beast chained and shackled for so long that he almost forgot its existence, but now he felt the shackles that bound it slowly come undone.

"I'm going to kill him."

At that, Elrond's eyes flew open. "No!" he gasped, instinctively before logic kicked back in, making him smile. "No, Haldir, don't be silly. You can't kill him. Goodness knows I've tried. We've called a truce now anyway. No point in fighting. It's always the innocent bystanders who get hurt."

Sense reasserted itself. "I hate him," Haldir spat, but without the blind rage that fuelled him before.

"I know you do," Elrond grinned.

"Is that why you hate each other?"

"Oh, Haldir, for the billionth time!" Elrond cried, throwing his hands in the air. "Something happened between us, but this wasn't it! And for the billion and first time, no, I'll tell you when I'm ready!" he sighed, and although Haldir shrugged sulkily, his sour face quickly melted away when Elrond drew him in for a kiss.

Haldir snuggled up to Elrond once more, and they spent a few quiet minutes together, exchanging light kisses and holding each other the way lovers do, but at length Haldir drew back and looked questioningly at him.

"What is it, melethnin?"

"I don't get it. If you hated it so much... if he hurt you... why didn't you say anything?"

Elrond sighed. "And do you honestly think I didn't?" he said tiredly. "Did you honestly think that he would listen? No, Haldir, any protest would have just served to excite him more, and prolong ... it."

"But what about the morning after? Why didn't you say anything when he *wasn't* in that mood?"

"I don't know," Elrond said quietly. "When morning came and we were lord and seneschal once again it didn't seem so bad. I would still ache, but the pain would have diminished in the night, and I would fool myself into thinking that it wasn't all that bad. That my body could take the abuse. That it was worth it. And then night came and the nightmare began anew. I kept hoping that it really *was* just a nightmare, and that I would wake up. I kept screaming to wake up. I kept begging him to stop. But he didn't. And then I would go to sleep and wake up the next morning, and the whole cycle would start again."

"And you never said anything," Haldir whispered, his eyes unnaturally bright. "You never said anything. You let him do that to you."

"I thought he loved me," Elrond shrugged. "I guess... I was wrong."

"But I've done that before, you know, with clients. And sometimes they like to use the tools on me, and sometimes they want me to use the tools to be used on them. And so I oblige. It doesn't always have to be that way, Elrond. It's not all abuse. There can be tenderness too, and love. That's the way it should be."

"I know that. I know there can be. But not for me. I'm not like you, Haldir. I've only ever lain with one who is a lover, as and when chance brought me somebody I truly fell in love with. And they have been few and far apart. If I ever laid eyes on any of the things now I'd think of him, and how he abused me. And how awful it was."

Haldir sighed deeply and drew Elrond close, hoping that his very closeness would help heal the scars he had unwittingly reopened in his lover.

"This is hardly fair, my lord," Haldir chirped suddenly in an effort to distract the dark-haired elf from the hurt he had caused. "You now know what I would wish for if I could, but I have no idea what your secret fantasies are!"

"Me?" Elrond looked at him stunned.

"Yes, you," he grinned cheekily. "Yes...tell me, Elrond," he whispered huskily, pausing at each word to plant butterfly kisses along the length of the peredhil's neck. "Tell me your deepest desires."

Elrond coloured in embarrassment. "Haldir!" he admonished, but the Lorien elf was not put off.

"Mmmm...you taste so sweet..." he purred and ran his tongue across Elrond's jaw line. "Ai, Elrond... talk to me... tell me what you desire..."

Elrond blushed an impressive shade of red and cleared his throat as he struggled to remain calm in the face of Haldir's ministrations. "What I... desire?" he croaked weakly.

"Tell me your fantasy..."

"Okay..." Elrond trailed off reluctantly. "I imagine us..." he said, and swallowed hard."I'm in a bath... only it's more like a Jacuzzi filled with bubble bath," he said, blushing hard at the mention of bubble bath.

"And it's dark... and there're candles all around... then... well..." he shifted uncomfortably, "then you come to stand in the doorway, and I can see your silhouette. You slip off your bath robe... and come up... and then... Oh, forget it!" he cried, too embarrassed to continue.

"And then?" Haldir pressed. It wasn't every day he could make the stoic elf lord blush like an innocent maiden. Besides, it was definitely taking Elrond's mind off his darker thoughts.

"And then you come up and... well... you..." he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"And then I what?"

"Andthenyouscatterrosepetalsoverthebath" he mumbled. Haldir couldn't help but chuckle at both the peredhil's romantic notions and at his extreme discomfort from the confession. "Oh, don't you laugh at me!" Elrond snapped irritably as his embarrassment quickly gave way to mortified humiliation.

"No, melethron! I wasn't laughing!" he cries, trying his best to smother the giggles that threatened to overcome him. "Honest! I just think it's cute! Honestly! It's cute," he said. "Anyway, so I scatter rose petals over the bath and I...?"

"And, well, you walk around to stand behind me and lean down to kiss me... and I take your hand to pull you in...Gently, not forcibly... and still holding my hand, you walk around...you circle to the other side of the bath... and then you step in... and draw me close..." he paused, unwilling to continue.

"And? Carry on, meleth," he said gently reaching up to tuck a stay lock of hair behind Elrond's ear.

"And then we kiss... for awhile...quite a long while... and quite a lot actually."

"And?" Haldir grinned. This was starting to get interesting.

"And then you erm... move... ah... move to... erm... well... straddle me," he admitted, blushing furiously.

"And?" Haldir purred, his spare hand slipping between their bodies to caress Elrond's growing arousal, encouraging him to continue. At his touch, Elrond sighed and closed his eyes. After awhile, he continued.

"You straddle me, and we kiss, slowly at first, then stronger, harder, more passionate," he whispered, partially to himself. Words came more easily now. "We kiss, and I feel you, I feel you close to me. I stretch my hand out to touch you and I feel you moan into my mouth. I love you. We break the kiss, and you rest your forehead on mine. Our noses are barely touching."

He was silent for a moment, but it was no longer a silence of embarrassment. The peredhil's expression was calm, and Haldir could sense the images dancing behind Elrond's eyelids, pleasuring him, just as Haldir was pleasuring him.

Still keeping his eyes closed, Elrond bracketed Haldir's face and drew him in for a deep, slow kiss. "And then you shift," he murmured against Haldir's lips.

"You place your hands on my shoulders and lift yourself to meet me... and slowly... slowly you sink down around me. I want to see you take me into you, I want to see the way our bodies connect and become one, but the bubbles block my vision. And I don't care. I can feel you. You pulse around me. You are heaven, Haldir. I love you."

As he spoke, Elrond felt for the hand touching him through the folds of cloth and tugged at it impatiently, gently but firmly urging it to stroke him beneath the layers of garment, but Haldir had a better idea. Untangling himself from his lover's arms, he got down to his knees, pulled down Elrond's trousers and instantly too him into his mouth.

Elrond threw back his head and groaned, a low, rumbling sound from deep within his chest, and Haldir smiled his triumph. He loved the way Elrond reacted to him, loved the way the peredhil's fists came to bunch in his hair, loved the way his lover took his pleasure from Haldir's ministrations.

Eager to please and hungry for more of Elrond's story, Haldir sucked Elrond hard into his throat as Elrond moaned aloud and arched shamelessly into his mouth. Now he understood why Elrond was so attentive in bed, why he was so tender and caring. All those traits he had taken for granted before, all those traits that he had brushed aside as stiff and boring. Now he understood.

//I love you, Elrond,\\ he whispered in thought speak, knowing that Elrond would pick up his thoughts. //I love you so much.It was as if those words were all that had kept Elrond from release. Gripping Haldir so hard it hurt, Elrond cried his pleasure to the world, and even Haldir was taken aback by the intensity of the peredhil's orgasm. Quiet and considerate even at the height of passion, the Elrond he knew had never been a screamer.

Haldir gazed uncertainly up at his lover. Elrond looked positively debauched. His eyes were still squeezed shut, his mouth open to emit great gasping breaths, and it seemed his entire body still trembled with the weight of his passion. A pink tongue darted out to moisten his dry lips. "Haldir..." he moaned softly. Hands that had relaxed momentarily tightened their grip on his hair. "Haldir..." he moaned again, louder this time, and more urgent, and in an instant Haldir was off his feet and settling into Elrond's eager embrace.

The elder elf held him tightly, holding him flat against him as he murmured his name softly, over and over again. At length, Elrond opened his eyes and gazed deep into Haldir's. "Haldir," he breathed reverently as he smoothed the Guardian's hair back.

Haldir smiled and kissed Elrond reassuringly. "I'm here, melethron," he whispered, and kissed him softly, reverently. "You know," he smiled, "you never really finished your story, my love. What happens after that?"

"Hm?" he started, snapping out of his reverie, but now that Elrond's hunger was sated, his embarrassment quickly returned. "Oh. That. Well." He cleared his throat and straightened himself as best as an elf with his trousers around his ankles could.

"Well. We, erm, make... you know..."

"Yes, Elrond?" Haldir pressed, teasingly.

"We...*ahem*... uh... make love."

"And?" Although Haldir would have dearly loved to probe into the details of the fantasy lovemaking, he could already picture Elrond's horrified face. No, it wouldn’t do to push him beyond his limits. At least, not yet.

"And then..." Elrond sighed, unaware of the thoughts fleeting through Haldir's mind. "And then..." he trailed off and stared unfocusedly into the distance. A soft smile played upon his face. "And then I hold you, and you hold me. And we whisper sweet nothings into each others ear. I tell you how much I love you, how precious you are to me, and you... you tell me how I am your whole world..."

At this his voice became sad, and slightly wistful, as if he were speaking of something that can never be anything more than a childish fantasy.

"I hold you," he said quietly. "And stroke your hair. I hear you whisper my name. I hear you say it as if you've channelled your whole heart and soul into those two syllables. It's soft, like a breath of wind but so full of love that it shakes me to the bone.

"I take your hand and kiss it, but when I make to release it you keep your hold. You twine your fingers through mine, and lie against me. We are so comfortable. You curl up against me and wrap your arms around me, and then..."

"... and then?"

"And then you tell me that you would love me forever. That I am your one and only."

Elrond sighed and looked down for awhile, then lifted his eyes to meet Haldir's, and the expression in those beautiful soft brown eyes nearly broke the Lorien elf's heart. Sad, and longing, and hopeful, yet resigned to his fate.

"Oh, melethron-nin... Ai, Elrond, you are, you *are*... you *know* you are. I *do* love you. More than you'll ever know. More than *I'll* ever know. You truly *are* my whole world. You are my world, my life, my breath. You always will be. I love you, Elrond. I'll love you forever."

"Hush," he said, laying a hand quickly on Haldir's lips. "Forever is a long time."

"No, not quite long enough. I never stop loving a person, Elrond. Not even after we break up. Not after they leave me. Not even after they die. I don't give my heart away easily, meleth, only my body, and when you have a place in my heart, you'll be there forever. That much I can swear. I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens between us."

"Do I really mean that much to you?"

"Yes, Elrond," he sighed. "I love you. I need you. I live for you. In fact, I don't know what I'll be without you. I've changed so much with you. I even gave up my job for you. I'm not who I used to be, Elrond, and that scares me. But it's okay as long as you're there. It's what would happen if you left me, that's what I'm worried about. What can I do? I can't go back to the way I was. I just can't. That just isn't me anymore."

A silence, as both elves fell into deep thought.

"And yes," Haldir whispered, breaking the stillness. "You are my one and only." He spoke softly, reverently, and Elrond smiled and kissed him. When he pulled back however, he was once again surprised to see the Guardian's playful expression.

"Now sod off," Haldir grinned cheekily. "You've taken up enough of my time. I have a fic I want to finish reading."